Country singer Clint Black wrote a song about the love he and his wife share. Love is not something that we have, or find, or fall into, he says, it's something that we do.
My father and I never said "I love you" to each other very often. I can only remember a few distinct times when I said so, and not many more when he did. Yet I always knew, and I hope he does, that our love is true and steadfast and eternal.
I remember him on the cold sidelines during my November soccer games. I remember playing catch and throwing spirals. I remember watching the first moonwalk together. I remember him crying when President Kennedy died and again when my grandfather passed away. I remember him smoking fat cigars--that smell forever reminiscent--while watching Redskins games together. I remember him convincing me that cold "Navy" showers were a good idea. I remember him as my first cubmaster. I remember him at the dining room table on Sundays, his great "stone face" teaching us manners and respect for our family and my mother. I remember his embrace when I didn't make the William and Mary soccer team. I remember his happiness in all of my successes, and his compasion when I didn't succeed. I remember his kindness toward all of my friends, and his affection for my wife.
This is love. In none of those times was it ever stated. It was just something that we did.
There's no request too big or small
We give ourselves, we give our all
Love isn't someplace that we fall
It's something that we do
I love you, Dad.